Hello World. All good? Hehe. I hope so.
I must confess, I'm a little embarrassed to write here.' It's a contradictory and even strange feeling, which I don't know how to put into words right away. I spent this whole week wanting to create a website on Neocities and, well, here I am!
When I actually sat down to start programming I didn't have any ideas in mind — or rather, I had so many that I was mentally stuck. I think my expectations were high, or rather, they still are...
What made me start the idea of creating something here was... a mix of nostalgia and, mainly, the desire to create something for myself. Put my heart out. Just... allow myself, without being judged. Trying to have things for myself, without having to perform for anyone and, above all, fall in love with programming again.
Creating this website and going through the troubles putting it together made me realize that, in fact, I always loved programming — it had only temporarily lost its meaning, because I stopped focusing on the most important thing: me. Doing it for the simple pleasure of creating things for myself..
You know, before I actually started getting my hands dirty, I had an unrealistic fear of making mistakes? As if it wasn't good enough, I shouldn't even start. Talking to my therapist in the last session she said: If there is a fear, it's because you need external approval. You create expectations and focus on other people when you should get and expect that approval from yourself.
This is important to me because... the reason I started this blog(?) project(?) is precisely to be myself. I don't know where this is going to end or what I'm going to do. Like a child being born, I just wanted to put something out, and I did... And I couldn't be more grateful for that.
PS: The official birthday of this blog is November 1th!